Seeking Validation
It’s far better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust any human.
Psalms 118:8 CEB
In seasons of depression, one of the things I find myself doing the most is seeking validation and love from those around me. I start to hint around for compliments or acknowledgment. But here's the thing about that, when I get what I'm seeking nothing changes. And when I don't get what I'm seeking I feel crushed. I first noticed this pattern trying to grow my TikTok channel. The posts I took pride in would either take off with a decent amount of responses or fall flat. When they did get the desired attention I found I would continuously look at the numbers trying again and again to feel what I thought I would feel from that. I didn't. In the other (more frequent) scenario when the video would fall flat my confidence plummeted. Those thoughts of worthless buried me in shame and selfloathing. It was a very unhealthy pattern and Thanks be to God I stopped.
The second time I caught myself seeking validation in someone other than God, it was my husband. Admittedly this is an improvement from seeking validation out of strangers on the internet. Who wouldn’t want to feel valued by their husband? And every wife absolutely should feel that. However, it is not where she should pull her self-worth. When I was feeling particularly depressed one afternoon, I thought I’d better shoot him a text and “warn” him to go easy on me today. Afterall, he knows how much he can affect my mood. That was when I was struck with just how much I depend on him to make me feel loved and validated. The fact is this: he’s human. Human beings will always fail you. We are all flawed. We are all subject to a bad day or fluctuating emotions. All it would take was for one of my low moments to line up with one of his low moments. The two emotions would collide into an argument sending me into a spiral of self-loathing and despair.
You know who won’t fail you? Who’s not “just” human? Jesus. Set your eyes on Him. Find your self-worth in Him. Because he says you are loved, you are chosen, you are a child of God. The same God who made the entire universe in all its glory, made you. And He doesn’t make mistakes.